Big Fat Movie Reviews: The Mechanic (2011)

Big Fat Movie Reviews: The Mechanic (2011): "Jason Statham, Ben Foster, Donald Sutherland, Tony Goldwyn Dir: Simon West Running time: 92 mins Certificate: 15 UK Release date: 28th ..."

Big Fat Movie Reviews: Abba The Movie (1977)

Big Fat Movie Reviews: Abba The Movie (1977): "Anni-Frid Lyngstad, Benny Andersson, Bjorn Ulvaeus, Agnetha Faltskog Director: Lasse Hallstrom Running time: 95 minutes Certificate: U UK ..."

Big Fat Movie Reviews: Plan 9 From Outer Space

Big Fat Movie Reviews: Plan 9 From Outer Space: "Bela Lugosi, Tor Johnson, Gregory Walcott Dir: Edward D. Wood Running Time: 79 mins Certificate: PG Release date 22nd July 1952 (US) ..."

Plan 9 From Outer Space

Bela Lugosi, Tor Johnson, Gregory Walcott
Dir: Edward D. Wood
Running Time: 79 mins
Certificate: PG
Release date 22nd July 1952 (US)

The first time I saw this I thought to myself, “How can someone direct something to inept, so obviously awful and believe this is the greatest thing since Citizen Kane?” Was there a blindness that Ed Wood was suffering from, that he couldn’t see how amateurish this was? I suppose he was suffering from the same illusions of grandeur that those contests on the X Factor suffer, who think they are the best thing since Whitney Houston, and then they open their mouths and a sound that can only be described as blood-curdling exits, and then even when they are told they are useless, they still think they are brilliant.

So why do I love it so?. There is so much on offer here, whether it be the cardboard gravestones, the hubcap flying saucers, the expert use of a shower curtain, I could go on, but every time you watch it, you find something different to openly laugh at. The dialogue is truly classic:

“Visits? That would indicate visitors.”

“But one thing's sure. Inspector Clay is dead, murdered, and somebody's responsible.”

There’s so much more but you have to see it to believe it. From the hoax beginning of Criswell warning us that what we are about to see is based on sworn testimony, you are on a rollercoaster ride of ridiculousness, and there’s plenty of games you can play while watching: The Night and Day game; Which is Bela? Who is reading from a script? What is Tor Johnson actually saying?

What makes this almost impossible to resist is that modern day film makers, especially those who commission those terrible monster movies that the SyFy channel churn out every five minutes, haven’t learnt from Ed Wood’s mistakes and they still believe that theirs is a fine, entertaining work, just like Wood’s did. He believed that his film was going to ignite the world. Well it did. It has been studied, poked, pruned by experts and fans alike but the truth of the matter is this. Just take it for what it is: a gloriously outlandish mess that you can sit with your friends with a huge bowl of popcorn and laugh at the complete ineptitude of the proceedings. There is one other film you can do the same to, and that is The Room (Oh we love The Room…but more about that at another time). We also love Plan Nine!

Abba The Movie (1977)

Anni-Frid Lyngstad, Benny Andersson, Bjorn Ulvaeus, Agnetha Faltskog

Director: Lasse Hallstrom

Running time: 95 minutes

Certificate: U

UK release date: 16 February 1978.

I remember seeing this movie and a small fee picked in Southgate.  What made the visit more memorable was that this is the start of the punk era, and into the screening arrived three archetypal punk rockers, but the Dr. Marten boots laced UP to their knees, extremely tight jeans, leather jackets with the anarchy sign painted on with Tipex and Mohicans.  Now what you have to remember is that the only punks had ever seen before and were the ones that appeared on TV when bill Grundy had persuaded them to swear as part of tea time viewing.  Seeing them in the flesh was something else.  But why on earth would they want to come and see out of the movie?  They sat down right at the very front but didn’t sit on the seats, preferring the dark Lino covered flooring, which they spend most of the movie trying to set fire to.  So it just goes to show you that the appeal of the Swedish super group even ran to fans of punk rock.

The film covers the 1977 Australian tour of the band.  Full to the brim of ABBA songs that later went on to the smash hits, the makers decided that it wasn’t enough just to watch the band perform, so they included a storyline.  It involved a completely incompetent Australian DJ who promises to get an exclusive interview with the group.  Interspersed between the songs, we see this bumbling idiot, who gets more annoying as the film progresses, desperately trying to get into all the places that ABBA are visiting and failing miserably.

The film works best when we’re just left with the group performing their songs.  Take a Chance on Me, The Name of the Game and Thank You for Music all appear along with some of the greatest hits.  Some of the tracks of performed live while others were turned into pop video circa 1977.  The film was directed by Lasse Hallstrom, who later went on to direct great movies such as My Life as a Dog, The Cider House Rules, Chocolat and more recently, but not so great, Dear John.  He was the perfect choice to make this movie is had spent most of his time with a group making their pop videos.  

ABBA the movie is not perfect in any way.  In a time in which we’re so used a quick editing and fast shots, modern audiences might find this too leisurely.  But the fans of the Swedish Group will love listening to songs, watching the sometimes cheesy videos, and getting completely lost in a time in which we were oh so innocent and spandex was the greatest thing that was ever invented.

3/5

The Mechanic (2011)

Jason Statham, Ben Foster, Donald Sutherland, Tony Goldwyn
Dir: Simon West
Running time: 92 mins
Certificate: 15
UK Release date: 28th January 2011

Well done to Jason Statham. He's done well for himself since the days of Lock, Stock and Two smoking Barrels. he has carved out a niche as the action hero of the 21st Century. When most action movies end up as DTV bottom shelf fillers, his constantly get released. Some are loads of fun (see Crank). Some aren't so. With The Mechanic, the latter falls into place.

Arthur Bishop is an expert Mechanic, a fixer (or hired assassin if you would). He is the best at what he does, making the death of the victims either seem accidental or as if someone else had committed the crime. His long-standing relationship with Harry McKenna, a wheelchair-bound operative of the company who hire Arthur, makes the next job even harder. Arthur has been hired to kill his friend. The job done, Arthur feels the whole thing doesn't sit right and so takes Harry's son, Steve, under his wing. Training him to be a 'mechanic', Arthur soon realises that the death of Harry wasn't what he was told and that it was all a set-up.

A remake of the 1972 Charles Bronson film of the same name, this is a by-the-book, all action, ultra-violent thriller that lacks one or two important things. a decent story and characters we can care about. usually Statham, for all his faults, comes a cross as a likeable 'gezza' with a twinkle in his eye. Here, however, he is cold and calculating and even when he is forced to kill his friend, it is done without any real emotion, as you would if faced with that position. It came across far too easy.

Ben Foster gets the more complex character of the two, having to control his anger for the death of his father while being apprentice to the wiser and more in control Statham and yet it still isn't enough to make the film interesting. Donald Sutherland is wasted in a part that, to be honest, anyone could have played, and Tony Goldwyn gets to tick another sleazy businessman role off his list.

Director Simon West, who gave us one of the more enjoyable action films of recent years, Con-Air, tries his hardest to make things look interesting with his MTV style cinematography and flashy editing but it cannot disguise that this is just another empty-headed action movies that doesn't add anything to the genre.

The deaths scenes aren't even original enough to keep the thoughts wandering elsewhere and so you end up with 90 minutes of shooting, explosions and blood but nothing more than that. This could quite have easily been just another DTV film that maybe one or two fans of Statham would have picked up if they haven't anything better to do. As a major release? Nope, left me feeling cold.

2/5